Rants from the Gnarly Beard

Advice for Exam Week

Happy Monday!  In case you haven’t realized this yet, it is exam week.

“No wonder no one was in my class this morning!!!” you say to yourself. “But now I’ve missed my exam!!  I have looked into the face of a dementor and I am doomed!!!”

No worries!  This doesn’t have to be the way things go this week.  Just follow Dr. John’s home remedy for exam time blues and you’ll be feeling great by the end of the week!  So here is the recipe for success:

Eat:  And I’m not talking about those silly rice cakes that are actually made out of Styrofoam.  I am talking about a balanced meal.  If you don’t know what that means then just fill your plate with lots of colorful foods.  And do this two to three times a day, not once in the next week.  Your brain needs something to burn every day besides popcorn and Monster energy drinks.  A square meal on a round plate will go a long way to helping you to remember how to solve for x.

Sleep:  Pulling an all-nighter is like pulling your teeth out.  It is painful and you look bad with a big gap in your smile.  Get some sleep.  Let’s face it, when you don’t sleep you get stupid.  You think you are making perfectly good sense and are writing brilliant ideas but in reality your brain turns to pumpkin mush and so do your ideas.  So get some solid shut eye each night.  Snuggle up with your favorite stuffed animal.  Studies show that students who sleep with their teddy bear actually get better grades.

Breathe:  Breathing is really underrated.  We think it comes naturally but, when we are stressed out we usually suck in a bunch of air and then forget to exhale.   Believe it or not, oxygen has been shown to have a favorable impact on brain function.  So breathe in and out and repeat often.  (It gets easier after a while.)

Once you do these three simple things then you can get to the reading, writing, and arithmetic.  You will still need to study and work hard but your success rate will surely go up by eating, sleeping, and breathing.  If you get really good at these three things then you can move into the higher level functions including personal hygiene habits like taking a shower and brushing your teeth.  But let’s not get side tracked!  Stay focused!  Eat! Sleep! Breathe!

The best of success this week and happy holidays.  I am…


John G. Eccles

VP of Dr. John’s Home Remidy’s

Posted in Campus Happenings

That’s a win for the good guys!

People ask me what keeps me up at night, well beside the dog down the street that is obviously not getting enough love, it is the safety of all our community members.  You see, there are bad guys out there who are looking for someone to take advantage of.  That’s what bad guys do:  They look for the unsuspecting, the trusting, the weak, the good guys.  On Tuesday night, the bad guys come looking at LC. They entered a town house and took several items, but an LC student saw them and realized that something looked wrong, something felt bad, and that student contacted Campus Safety and Security immediately.  CSS pursued the assailants  who dropped most of the stolen loot.  While we didn’t catch them then, we did recover most of the stolen items.  Several Security Alerts were sent out immediately informing the community of the crime as well as descriptions of the two bad guys.  Three hours later, two first year students on the other side of campus saw two guys who fit the description.  They noted that they were acting suspiciously.  Instead of blowing it off, they told their RA who immediately called CSS.  CSS and the Lynchburg Police Department responded and — sure enough — it was the same two bad guys!  They had come back to campus looking for the loot they had dropped in their escape.  Busted!  Arrested!  Cuffed! And taken downtown to jail!  That’s a win for our community.

Unfortunately, crimes are not always solved. Sometimes, those responsible are never caught, and victims never get any relief.  In this case, the exact opposite occurred.

At LC, all of our officers are certified by the Department of Criminal Justice.  We have a strong working relationship with LPD.  We do community patrols and are out in the field constantly.  We have over 200 cameras on campus and deploy safety systems like e2Campus and Livesafe.  All of these are important systems to have, but any law enforcement professional will tell you that everything depends on an engaged citizenship that actively takes responsibility for safeguarding themselves.  We cannot control what bad guys decide to do, but we can respond effectively when they try to perpetrate a crime at LC.  We can be proactive with tip lines, lighting, cameras, patrols, and locking doors.  All of these deter criminals and all of us can take part in these things.  So thanks LC for being engaged!  Thanks for showing the bad guys that we do care and that together we are stronger and safer!

In other news:

  • The Eagles and the Cowboys played the worst game of football that I have ever witnessed!  That was ugly!!! (Joe Buck even said so!!!)
  • I asked a random sample of Hornets what they were going to wear tomorrow, which happens to be (Hint! Hint!)  Here are some answers that I got:
    • Clean socks
    • Underwear
    • Stinky dockers
    • Hat with Green Bay on it. (They actually did play a good game of football!)
    • Mickey Mouse watch

All of these are fine and good…but what will we all be wearing tomorrow????  That’s right!!!  RED RED RED!!!  We wear RED on Fridays!!!    Until Friday, I am….



John G. Eccles

Dean of the Good Guys in RED

Posted in Uncategorized

Stone Dust

So I’m just getting back from a staff meeting and see that there are 65 e-mails sitting in my in box screaming at me to be opened, read, and responded to.  I’ve got to be honest with you, I’m just not into it!  So I am looking around my office looking for a good way to procrastinate and suddenly it hit me like a chicken finger dipped in BBQ sauce:  A CAMPUS UPDATE!!!  That’s what I will do to avoid actual work!!  And then everyone who reads the update (all 42 of you) will be otherwise occupied and will not be sending me e-mails that I have respond to.  BRILLIANT!  So here we go with the next installment of Campus Update:

  • Stone Dust…it is the work of the devil.  You see, we used stone dust rather than sand to set the brick pavers in the Drysdale Plaza.  To be honest with you, I am not sure why, but if you ever get the opportunity to build a student center, or for that matter, a patio in your back yard, do not use stone dust.  Use sand!!!  Stone dust puts a mineral film on the bricks that makes them look like a Krispy Kreme donut.  The dust migrates like a bad idea in Congress and thus makes the plaza look nasty.  So here is what we are doing: We are sucking all the stone dust out of the cracks and scrubbing the pavers clean.  We will then brush in 100% real authentic sand and seal the bricks.  So be nice to the Stone Dust Destroyers who are currently working their magic in the Drysdale Plaza.  If you happen to get some stone dust stuck between your teeth or toes, they will be happy to blast it out for free!
  • I saw my first official Rugby Game right here on Shellenberger Field this past Saturday.  Our club team took on Hampden-Sydney.  To be honest with you, I’m not sure what the score was or for that matter if anybody really cared.  There was considerable scrumming, tackling, and general body abuse going on for most of the afternoon.  Our guys sang and chanted before the start of the match and I hope they will release their CD soon.  They sounded great!  So here’s to our Rugby Club!!!  May your scrum be with you!
  • When I announced my retirement, many asked me if I had lost my mind. Well, I got to thinking that maybe I did lose my mind and sure enough, it was gone!!!  No worries though. I went to Hornet HQ and accessed their new lost and found web page.  Sure enough, one of the rugby guys had found it in the stands after the match. He turned it in to Campus Safety and Security and it was posted on the Lost and Found Page.  I picked it up on Monday and I am feeling much better.  (Still retiring though…)  So if you lose your mind or something else as important, check out your Hornet HQ!  It might just be there!

Parents and Family Weekend is coming up in three days so you might want to do the following:

  1. Shovel out your room
  2. If they come on Friday, TELL THEM TO WEAR RED!!!! (YOU TOO!!!)
  3. Empty half of your laundry detergent down the drain so it looks like you have actually done your laundry.
  4. Make sure all the underwear in your room actually belongs to you.  Your Mom is going to check your underwear drawer so just be prepared.
  5. Place your text books open on your desk.  Highlight several chapters and leave out, in plain sight,  a rough draft of a paper entitled  “Philosophical Implications of the Iliad and The Odyssey on the Current Political Climate as it Relates to Socio-economic Development in Stores Located Close to Walmart.”
  6. Learn your roommate’s name.
  7. Locate the library and take your parents to it.
  8. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate their support.  Then ask them to take you out to dinner!  (Don’t screw up the order on this one…love and appreciation first, then hit them up for dinner!)
  9. Take an orphan with you.  You never know when you will be one!
  10. Take in a game or musical production because Hornets rock no matter where they play!!!

Well, the e-mail count is up to 78 and it’s not getting any better.  But the weather sure is, so unplug yourself from your electronic world, and find a red chair and a good friend to share the day with!!!  Until the next time I feel like avoiding work, I am…

John G. Eccles

Dean and Destroyer of Stone Dust

Posted in Campus Happenings, Parents

Are you feeling the red?

Hello LC Community!  Welcome to yet another year of learning, playing, serving, eating, sleeping, walking, running, and yes, winning as a LC Hornet!!  Since some of you are new to the community (about 640 new first years and transfers and readmits ) I’d thought I run through just what a Campus Update actually is:

  • A Campus Update is generally informative but only to a point.
  • A Campus Update has actuate information strewn throughout it, but much like your rooms, you have to figure out what is clean laundry on the floor and what is dirty.
  • A Campus Update can be funny, but funny is in the eye of the beholder; I cannot be held responsible for your state of mind while you are reading a campus update. (I can’t be responsible for your mind after reading it either!!)
  • A Campus Update will contain items that are totally made up.  Enjoy them.
  • A Campus Update will generally not contain a “moral to the story”, but if you find one please share it with me.  I could use some morals.
  • A Campus Update requires reading, but I try not to use really big words like conundrum and obstinate.  My parents used these words to describe me when I was a kid and I still do not know what they mean.
  • Finally, a Campus Update is meant to make you smile. So here we go!

A new smoking policy is around the corner.  It will require all faculty, staff, and students to utilize special designated outdoor tables as smoking areas.  In the meantime, don’t vape inside as it sets off the fire alarm more frequently than burnt popcorn!!!

The family doctor for the squirrels living in the Dell has asked that we cut down on the extra butter on our bagels from Brewed.  It seems that the squirrel’s cholesterol has risen significantly as a result of munching on our leftover discards.

We have purchased the parking lot that is located behind Peaksview Hall.  This new lot will open in the next few months and will be a place where first year students can park. In addition, it will provide overflow parking for graduation, sporting events like when we win our next national championship, and concert roadies when the Dead plays live on Shellenberger field this spring.

Last year we started the NO MORE campaign.  This national campaign focuses on stopping sexual violence on our campus!  Over 500 students signed the pledge last spring that is hanging in the Drysdale Student Center.  We need you to be on board too.  Please view the video that our very own LC Hornets made last spring!  Then look for the next opportunity to sign the pledge.  It is on us!  NO MORE! Click here and be a part of the movement! https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B70wiZKdCf7sYWlmVXJxbzZud00/view?usp=sharing

On Fridays We Wear Red showed an increase from approximately 10% of the population to about 30%.  Next Friday lets push the red out even more!  Thanks for being red!!!  

Well you made it through the first full week of school.  It is permissible to study over the weekend.  In fact we encourage it!  While you’re at it please let me know if you find out what conundrum and obstinate mean.  Until then, I am…

John G. Eccles

Dean of Red

Posted in Campus Happenings

Green and Purple Time

Hello LC Hornets!!!  I think spring has sprung and that the sun has flown the coop.  We have sent out search parties to look for her but we have heard nothing back from them.  We hope that they can locate the sun and get her back here in time for the weekend.  It would be nice if she could stay longer than a day, but I suppose you can only ask but so much of the sun!  So let’s get to our updates of the day before things cloud up.  (Get it…cloud up…so funny!)

Senior Day!!!  This weekend the Softball , Men’s Lacrosse, and Women’s Lacrosse will all honor their seniors.  Contrary to D1 sports, we are not a one and done place!  More like 4 and out the door!  (i.e. graduation door that is!!)  So come out and honor our seniors!!!  (And see us win too!)

Just when you thought March Madness was over, our alum Joe Sancio is still taking votes so his alumni basketball team can make the tournament. Click here and be a part of our Hornet Pride! http://www.thetournament.com/teams/lynchburg-college-club-basketball

Friday April 17th Is the National Day of Silence.  This day seeks to highlight the plight that many members of the LBGT community feel in that they cannot express who they really are.  Students participating in this event will have a flyer that they will hand to you to explain their silence.  Please give them your support so that one day we can have a National Day of Shout Outs!

Have you ever seen a scrum???  Well, sometimes it’s better to see one than to actually be in one, especially if you have a bad back like me.  At any rate, if you feel a need to see a scrum, come check out our Rugby Club.  They will be playing, kicking, scratching, grabbing, tackling, and yes, scrumming on Saturday! Lynchburg Rugby will be playing UVA Rugby at 12:00 p.m. at 582 Leesville Road, Lynchburg for the last game of the season.   Scrum on dude!!!

Remember those bubble sheets you use to do for course evals?  First year students wouldn’t remember them at all, but the rest of you probably do.  Well LC has decide to join the 21st century, save over three acres of trees, and go with a wild a crazy idea of….wait for it….ON LINE COURSE EVALUATIONS!!!  Yes, isn’t it just crazy!!!  I mean what will they think of next… lights that turn off when no one is in the room???  At any rate, go to your MyLC and complete these evaluations.  They are critical to becoming a better learning community!

Many thanks to the 130 volunteers and Tevin Ware for hosting the LC Special Olympics for 55 athletes last weekend!  By all reports, the athletes had a great day and received a warm LC welcome and continual support and encouragement!

And lastly, don’t forget Relay for Life!  If you aren’t careful, you’ll find yourself walking around the Dell at 3:00 in the morning freezing to death wondering where are all the Relay Teams and participants.  Well silly, the relay is now in the day!  Faculty and Staff, please bring your families out and take a lap or two!  Opening Ceremony is at 10:00 am, Saturday, April 18!!!  Let’s walk for all those who fought and continue to fight this terrible disease in hopes that someday we will take hold a Victory Relay because we have cancer beaten!  It’ll see you out there walking or at the grill serving up my famous hotdogs!

Boy, I sure wish there was something going on this weekend???

John G. Eccles

Vice President of Purple

Posted in Campus Happenings

Fountain Etiquette and other news

Hello and welcome to April!  We found the thermostat and we are inching it up so wearing shorts and tee shirts won’t be hazardous to your health anymore.  So here is what has been going on since the last time you deleted my Campus Update:

  • On Saturday March 28 and Sunday March 29, literally hundreds of LC student volunteers participated in the “One World Blitz Build.”  This event is sponsored by Habitat for Humanity and featured a blitz build right in our own neighborhood on Warren Street.
  • While that was going on, students also participated in “March on Litter Day.”  They went into the surrounding streets and picked up over 200 bags of trash!!!  The following Sunday, a group also traveled to Claytor Nature Study Center and conducted our annual litter clean up.  Mother Earth sends her thanks!
  • Have you noticed that the splash fountain sometimes sprays high up in the air and other times is barely spurting out of the nozzle?  We discovered that when too many students take a shower in McWane that it affects the water pressure in this fountain.  We are working to correct this problem and hope to “normalize” the splash fountain in the next few weeks.  In the meantime, keep taking your shower!
  • Speaking of fountains, we have received many questions about fountain etiquette.  Here is the short version:  Stay out of the black granite fountains.  There are cameras everywhere and you’ll be picking up cigarette butts for the rest of your college career if you mess with them.  (Did that sound like a threat, sorry.  It was meant to be a promise. J )   Now on the other hand,  you are free to stroll through the splash fountain.  Watch out for that nozzle on the far left that will shoot up over six feet.  You might want to wear your swimming goggles too!
  • St. Baldricks was another great success.  There were over 50 students who offered up their heads and hair and, in the process, raised well over $5,000 dollars for cancer research for children.  Next up is Relay for Life on April 18.  It is a DAY relay starting at 10:00 am and wrapping up by 10:00 pm.  So get in the game and make a difference.  Sign up now!  Go to http://relay.acsevents.org/site/PageServer?pagename=relay and get started.
  • 11134075_10155384331935453_2720479643176191412_oMany thanks to the sisters of Sigma Sigma Sigma and the brothers of Sigma Phi Epsilon who spent the afternoon doing the first annual Red Chair Clean Up!  They collected over 30 red chairs brought them in front of Hundley where they were repaired, scrubbed clean, and tightened up.  The oldest generation were painted and the herd was released back into the Dell by early evening. These students performed a great service to us all.  Biggest issue:  cigarette burns on the arm of the chair.  Short Term Solution: Put the cigarette out on your own arm next time. Long Term Solution: A Smoke Free Dell.  (Coming to you in the fall of 2015!)
  • Finally, you may be aware of the NO MORE National Campaign that was started last year as a result of high profile domestic violence cases within the National Football League.  The campaign features NFL players speaking out against sexual violence.  We contacted the NO More Foundation and asked if we could join the effort and create a campaign at LC.  To our knowledge, we are the first college or university that has done this.  We have videoed our men’s and coed varsity athletic teams, fraternities, club teams,  and several campus organizations.  We will have an open signing day sometime in the next two weeks which will help us reach the goal of 1000 pledges!  Be a part of the solution! Check out the No More site to learn more:  http://nomore.org/
  • Want to know what our alums are up to?  Well Joe Sancio ’10 played club basketball.  An LC alum basketball team is now vying to make the cuts for the national club championship run.  But to make the cut they need our votes.  So go to the website and vote for our LC Alumni Hornet!!!  On the right hand side of the page there is a large orange box that says “become a fan & vote for this team.” http://www.thetournament.com/teams/lynchburg-college-club-basketball

So there you have it!  I hope you have a great weekend!  Take care of one another and enjoy those red chairs.  Until next time, I am:

John G. Eccles

Dean of Fountain Development

Posted in Campus Happenings, Red Chairs

Old Spice

Hello and welcome back to the first edition of the LC Campus Update. This missive was known as “Campus and Construction Update” but as I hope you are aware, all those guys who continually bent over and exposed the upper regions of their buttocks are now gone! So without further ado, let’s get to the all-important LC, national and international news that impacts all of us every day. Read more ›

Posted in Uncategorized

The 12 Days of Christmas

Hello Lynchburg College Community!  I hope that your holidays are off to a great start. Some of us are still in the office, but I have got to tell you, it has been really quiet!!!  Well, except for the leaf blowers that is!!  As we get into the season, I know there are many ways that we will express our gratitude and thanksgiving for all the blessings that we have.  I would like to offer up from my tradition of Christmas, my list of things to be thankful for by using that age-old song, “The 12 Days of Christmas” as my vehicle.  (My old English professor would be so happy that I used the word “vehicle” in a non-motor head manner!)  So sing along with me if you want … it will make the song go by quicker!
Read more ›

Posted in Uncategorized

Ribbon cutting and paver shaving

Hello Lynchburg College! I hope you are enjoying this wonderful weather!!! I can tell you that we really love it down at the worksite. Read more ›

Posted in Uncategorized

Shrubbery and Monty Python

Hello LC community! Happy Homecoming Week! It is good to know that we all survived the four days of rain last week. Of course the weather forecasters were predicting 20 inches of rain, high winds, flooding, overbooked and leaky arks, basically the end of the Earth as we know it. You see The Weather Forecasters Association is a bit edgy and cranky because they haven’t been able to cover the “SAVAGE HURICANNE 2014,” where they report in their soaked slickers by washed-out beach homes. So now they are resorting to just plain rain storms and trying to give them a little pizazz! To most of us, it just rained for a few days which got old; however, that does not increase viewers on the Weather Channel!!!  So stay tuned to the next weather disaster called:  Monster Mist on Monday Morning 2014. Read more ›

Posted in Uncategorized